In an arranged marriage, the family takes the lead to find a marriage partner for their son or daughter.Īnd both parties are free to choose whether they enter into that marriage. Even the UK government conflated the two in 2007 during the process of creating legislation to prohibit forced marriage.Īn arranged marriage is NOT the same as a forced marriage. Doing so is harmful because it promotes an image of the countries and cultures who do practice arranged marriage as inherently barbaric or cruel. So, it’s essential not to conflate the two. In an arranged marriage, there is always consent. As well as involving many other human rights abuses and violence. Indeed, many forced marriages involve forms of domestic servitude (a form of modern slavery). And, in doing so, it is tantamount to slavery.
We might update that definition to say ‘whereby any human’ as roughly 20% of forced marriages victims are male.įorced marriage does not give the right to refuse. This is precisely the basis of forced marriage. Slavery, in one of its many forms, is an institution or practice ‘whereby a woman, without the right to refuse, is promised or given in marriage on payment of a consideration in money or in kind.’ There, I said it.In this article, we look at the difference between an arranged marriage and a forced one and explore why it’s not a great idea to conflate the two. You can have a successful arranged marriage with someone from another caste or religion or gender for that matter. No one knows you better than your parents. Your parents get a say, but don't get to make the final decision. But if you are not adequately satisfied in bed after marriage, it's going to create a huge rift between you two. Sex before marriage continues to be a huge taboo in our country. And should you witness your partner express any signs of greed, dump them immediately. Just because your parents are satisfied with your choice of partner and want to donate a big gift, like a car or a house, doesn't mean you should accept it. You are allowed to have certain assets in your own name. But that doesn't mean you need to merge your savings with your partner. Therefore a higher degree of financial planning and premeditated estimation of risks goes into it, which prevents monetary struggles in later life. There is a lot more financial security yes, but you shouldn't have to give up your own fundsĪrranged marriages are a lot more calculated than love marriages. If your partner doesn't understand, he's not the right partner for you. If you don't want to cook, don't cook! Learn the culinary arts for yourself not to please some hyper-aggressive manchild. 5. No big compromises neededĬontrary to popular belief, you don't need to compromise and morph yourself into the perfect partner. Go on dates, talk on the phone, get to know your likes and dislikes, pet peeves and hobbies. You can't get to know whether you are compatible together in one or two encounters. An arranged marriage is not too different from a relationship. The whole concept of 'love at first sight' and the bullshit encounters they show in Bollywood movies are complete fakes. If the male side of the family assumes superiority then that marriage is only going to catapult into disaster. A marriage is only successful if both parties share mutual respect and play an equal role. One simply cannot expect a potential wife to wrap up her individual autonomy in tin foil and hand it over to her potential family. That logic is flawed because a woman is not a commodity. An arranged marriage does not mean we'll give up our autonomyĪ lot of men and in-laws view arranged marriage as a transaction.
She's a big girl who is making a calculated decision. If a woman chooses to opt for an arranged marriage, her decision shouldn't be put under a microscope and dissected. It's not anti-feministįeminism is about the freedom of choice, the liberty to be at par with men and their rights.
Instead of criticizing without cause, help fix the system. We all unanimously hate aunties who pass unnecessary judgement and question our life choices right? You know the pain, so stop doing the same to people who voluntarily opt for arranged marriages. So it would certainly help if the process was way less archaic and a lot more refined. If you think about it, they're not really different from dating apps.
Arranged marriage has been a viable form of finding a suitor for decades now.